kiransingh:

the only domestic instinct my parents have managed to pass on to me is the tendency to hoard multiple plastic bags in another plastic bags despite the fact that I will probably never need this many plastic bags in my adult life

155,551 notes

c-h-e-e-r-u-p-b-u-t-t-e-r-c-u-p:

kangarudy:

illbesamned:

drkarayua:

gurillafan:

toastedpopsicle:

madmadamemolly:

growlywolf:

choochoomothafucka:

Source

What gay men give to the world.  A-yup.

On the second one.

There’s this one gay club I go to that actually has a problem of straight guys going there to dance with girls.  I guess these guys don’t understand that girls can also be gay, because they assume that any girls at the club are there with their gay guy friends.

So one night I was out on the dance floor, and I see this guy.  He’s like over six-foot, at least, all beefed-up, muscle shirt, looks kindof like a douchebag.  And he’s just circling the dance floor, in one continuous loop, looking at the crowd like a predator, and it’s creeping me the fuck out.

It’s creeping me out enough that I don’t immediately realize what’s going on nearby.  Some girl has attracted one of the Assholes, who has proceeded to begin grinding on her.  She’s pushing him away, telling him to get lost.  He’s pulling that whole, “come on, don’t be a bitch” spiel, and generally just not getting the message.

BAM.  Suddenly, the prowling guy swoops in, like some sort of Gay Avenger.  He shoves himself between the girl and the Asshole, grabs the Asshole by the hips, and starts dirty dancing him like a God-damned fuck machine.  Asshole completely flips his shit, like how DARE another man try to dance with him at a GAY BAR???, starts spitting curses, and tears ass off the dance floor and out onto the sidewalk.

The Gay Avenger turns back to the girl, inclines his head in an, “are you okay?” sort of gesture.  She nods, and he returns to his previous position of circling the dance floor, looking for his next target.

Told this story to some guys upstairs.  Apparently Gay Avenger is a regular there.

someone write a comic book about Gay Avenger.

Reblogging for Gay Avenger

Gay Avenger is my favorite story on tumblr

GAY AVENGER

I did my undergrad thesis on Gay Avenger.

Gay Avenger is love. Gay Avenger is life.

(Source: zahdimir)

449,675 notes

stability:

precumming:

I want kids so bad

so go to a playground and take one stupid where do u think kids come from

66,419 notes

collegehumor:

image

I’m Adam.

-And I’m Emily.

We make “funny videos” on the Internet.

-But soon, we might not be able to.

That’s because…

image

…net neutrality is in jeopardy. Net Neutrality is the principle that says ISPs can’t discriminate between different types of traffic.

That means that…

7,041 notes

nonespark:

fucking zooming in on the cats face like “shit i’ve been trapped”
i’m crying

nonespark:

fucking zooming in on the cats face like “shit i’ve been trapped”

i’m crying

(Source: funnycatsandnicefish)

52,512 notes

airyairyquitecontrary:

PICK ME UP. RIGHT NOW. I WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

airyairyquitecontrary:

PICK ME UP. RIGHT NOW. I WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

201,769 notes

oriongalaxygoddess:

orgasmic-humor:

This is so accurate it hurts


Seriously though

oriongalaxygoddess:

orgasmic-humor:

This is so accurate it hurts

Seriously though

(Source: orgasmc-humor)

100,484 notes

vegannvagina:

nostalgiaultra:

Great things to say during intercourse:

  • Yes, this is agreeable
  • Excellent. I’ll note this down in my memoirs
  • What a surprising twist!
  • Aren’t human beings remarkable?
  • Splendid.

image

184,365 notes

cashemoji:

gaymommy:

grandpa what the fuck did you just do

Is this breaking bad

cashemoji:

gaymommy:

grandpa what the fuck did you just do

Is this breaking bad

(Source: latadelixo)

255,085 notes